3 Ways to Shut Down the Narcissist

1. Being Unbothered.

There are a few ways you can go about getting the narcissist to shut up, but the main one is to be unbothered. Being unbothered means not caring about what the narcissist says or does. It’s all about showing complete disinterest. Using a word like “whatever” in response to a narcissist will infuriate them, because it shows them that you don’t care. The narcissist wants you to care, because it’s when people care that they can get a reaction from them. When people care about the narcissist, then they can manipulate them.

So, they need you to care, and that is why having an attitude of just being unbothered will cause the narcissist to want to not be around you, because there is no point. They cannot get the reaction they want; they cannot get that narcissistic supply.

For example, picture this: a narc going up to someone to start a conversation with the intent of getting them to gossip about someone. The narc would say something like, “Don’t you realize how this person always comes late?” If your response is something along the lines of, “Yeah, so what? That’s their business,” the narc might then be like, “But don’t you think it makes the company look bad that they are always coming late?”

Here you see, despite the first unbothered response, the narc is still trying to reel the person into conversing by getting them to agree with them or say something negative about that person. The best thing to do would be to keep your response the same: be consistent and walk away if you need to.

How that narc would be boiling inside, because not only were you unbothered or not interested in having that conversation, but then you left them hanging. Narcissists love a good gossip, but don’t be that person that entertains them. In general, just giving closed answers like “yes,” “no,” or “okay” should work well. Just try to be as abrupt as you can without divulging too much, and depending on the setting, be able to not appear rude or disrespectful either.

So yeah, just having that unbothered attitude around the narcissist will put them off you, and they will see you as a boring person. But that’s fine because we don’t need narcissists in our lives. The problem comes when it dawns on the narcissist that you are only like that with them. That is when they will probably start studying you to see if they can reach you in some other way or turn on you with a vengeance for being dismissive of them, which is usually throwing a temper tantrum and smearing your name. But who cares, right?

Seriously though, if we are able to not let the narcissist bother us or take the things they say and do personally, it would do us a world of good. Narcissists will hurt people; they will lie and manipulate whoever they can. So when they try to do it to us, it would benefit us if we can just shake it off and laugh at them. When we are able to do this, it means they have lost control. It means you have turned off that empathy tap, and they can no longer twist and turn you or get the desired reaction.

2. Changing the Topic.

Another way to get the narcissist to shut up would be to change the topic and then keep talking without allowing the narcissist to get a word in. The narcissist does not like talking to people who talk more than they do or who simply take over the conversation. So go on and on about general stuff like the weather or something else totally dull and not personal, and the narc will avoid you like the plague. But this would be for those who have time or interest.

3. Being Direct.

Another way you can repel a narcissist is by being direct with them. Narcissists are afraid of being exposed or put to shame, so if you communicate in a way with them to let them know you are not buying what they are selling, basically, the narcissist will want to avoid you. Narcissists don’t like to be called out or criticized; they don’t like when people use a harsh tone of voice with them. It’s all negative exposure or attention that they don’t want, as it embarrasses them.

So if a narcissist knows you have the tendency to be this way, they don’t want to be that person that you go off on, so they will keep their distance or be silent around you. Narcissists are very particular about how they want to be spoken to. The slightest change in your tone of voice alerts the narcissist, and they usually see it as a sign of disrespect. But again, who cares, right?

But I believe when it comes to dealing with narcissists, we need to work on being a bit more unbothered. Quit reacting, quit empathizing with them, quit talking to them, and quit allowing them to affect our mental and physical health. When children are involved, I know it would be difficult to take that stance. Believe me, I know, because it is no longer just about you.

But for ourselves, we should aim to not get hung up about the little things the narcissist does to get our attention. Being unbothered is a state of mind that a narcissist cannot fathom because they care too much about what people think of them. So, they are very bothered, or rather paranoid, about their reputation and image.

There is power in being unbothered when it comes to the narcissist, as it shuts them up and allows us to carry on with our lives without constantly caring what the narcissist is up to.