Narcissists are fast. They are fast with their words and their actions. They try to move through people quickly to know who is a good target or not. Some people make it easy for them, and some make it difficult.
But today I want to focus more on some questions Narcissists be asking in no time at all. These questions can be seemingly “innocent” but at the same time unsettling. And they ask these questions to test boundaries, gather personal information, or subtly undermine you. What makes them “creepy” is usually the timing, intensity, and hidden motives behind the questions, rather than the words themselves.
I have put these questions in 4 categories such as Family questions, Intimacy questions, Control Oriented questions and the flat-out creepy personal questions. I have example questions for each category but if you have your own, please put them in the comments section below. Also, I will quickly go over the best way to handle these questions so please stay with me.
The first set of questions I want to look at is the intimacy ones. And they are questions like:
- “Do you believe in soulmates?
- “Why do you think we met? Don’t you feel like it was meant to be?”
- “Have you ever felt this close to anyone before?”
These questions are all about forcing intimacy too quickly. Or to make you feel like both of you have a unique bond or that you’re coming together is all meant to be. If these questions are posed 10 years down the line in a really healthy relationship, no issues at all. But if I just met you yesterday and you are asking me these questions already, that is a red flag.
To be honest, 20 years ago, I may have fallen for it but not anymore. The idea of soul mate and twin flame creates this emotional obligation that you and this person should be together. Narcissists want to secure you in a quick time so if they can convince you that you are all meant to be together, they are winning in the manipulation field. The timing and framing of these questions are manipulative by design.
The second type of questions is the control-oriented ones, such as:
- “Why didn’t you text me back right away?”
- “Who were you with?
- Why didn’t you invite me…(to your house, to your party etc.?”
No matter how sweetly they ask these questions, the timing and motive is usually inappropriate. Meaning they haven’t earned your trust, friendship etc. but yet they feel like they should be treated as such. They may even pretend to be hurt or offended to gain sympathetic access to your life but don’t fall for it.
Following closely behind these control questions are the Support or Family questions. These are questions like:
- “Do you tell your friends everything about your relationships?”
- “Who do you trust the most?”
- “Do you really think your family/friends have your best interest at heart?”
These questions allow them to sniff out what your other relationships are like. They are looking to plant seeds of doubt and division and gauge how much influence others may have over you. The Narcissist is basically trying to figure out if they will be able to isolate you or if there is anyone in your life who would protect you or even try to save you from them. They want to be the only ones influencing you and controlling you. And they do not want you to be investing your time, energy and emotions into anyone else but them. So that is why these questions are so important to the Narcissist.
Now let us get into the last category, which are the Oddly personal and creepiest questions. These are questions like:
- “What scares you the most?”
- “What would you do if someone hurt you and no one believed you?”
- “What’s your biggest insecurity?”
- “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done that no one knows about?”
With all their charm, Narcissists try to pry your most intimate secrets and vulnerabilities out of you. They pretend to care so much or love you so much that confiding these things in them should be like second nature. But they are fishing for vulnerabilities and collecting secrets to use for later. They are also taking notes of the best ways to hurt you or put you down in the future. These questions will allow them to gaslight you and break you when they are ready to destroy you.
So, what is the best way to handle questions that make you feel rushed, exposed or uncomfortable? Or what if the question feels off—too personal, too fast, too intense? Well, the best thing to do is take a break, put a pause in the conversation. A healthy person will respect your hesitation. A manipulative one will push harder or try to guilt-trip you into answering quickly; that pause is often all you need to spot the type of person you are dealing with.
That little pause gives you space to breathe, notice how you feel, and decide if you even want to answer at all. Creepy or manipulative people like narcissists hate pauses, but those pauses allow you to stay in control.
Once you have thought about it, you can decide to deflect by changing the topic or letting them know you are not comfortable or ready to answer that question. But never feel pressured or rushed to answer any question that makes you uncomfortable.
But to conclude, the questions narcissists ask are strategic, intrusive, and creepy. The creepiness usually comes from how quickly they ask these questions and the intensity behind it. The questions are designed to get closer to you to gain control of you. Just remember to trust your instincts and don’t let anyone rush you into anything.
That is it from me for today. Have a blessed week. Many thanks for reading.
Leave a Comment