Today, we’re going to talk about the six most common lies that narcissists tell. So I’m going to tell you what narcissists typically say, and these are all lies.
1. I love you.
The first lie that a narcissist is going to tell you is that they love you. The narcissist is going to tell you they love you. Within two weeks to a month, you’re going to hear, “I love you” out of that narcissist’s mouth. And that is just a straight-up lie. Because the narcissist doesn’t know you. So if they don’t know you, how do they love you? You can’t love somebody that you don’t know. There’s no such thing as love at first sight. There’s lust at first sight. They may lust for you, like what they see, but the first lie you’re going to hear out of a narcissist’s mouth is that they love you.
And this is to hook you. So now you’re hearing what you want to hear because it feels good. You want to be in this relationship. This person is giving you a lot of attention, a lot of flattery. Flat flattery. And obviously this is during the love bombing stages. Or you’ll hear I love you when they see that you’re pulling away. Then all of a sudden you hear I love you. This is because the narcissist is starting to panic that you’re going to walk away.
2. I don’t remember.
Man, they love this. They love to say, “I don’t remember. I don’t even know what I did yesterday.” This is straight-up gaslighting. Narcissists always love to say, “I don’t remember. I don’t remember where I was last night. I don’t remember.” Now we’re dealing with the amnesia card because the narcissist knows there’s not much you could say if they’re sitting there saying, “Well, I don’t remember.” It’s a straight-up lie because if something happened recently or was a major to-do, the narcissist most definitely remembers. They love to play dumb. They love the dumb act.
So don’t believe that when they sit there and say they don’t remember, and it was a major issue between the two of you, or if it happened recently. Most definitely, they do remember. Narcissists don’t forget much.
3. It didn’t happen like that.
Now, they’re trying to rewrite history. They’re trying to rewrite what the truth is. And this is what causes you to get that cognitive dissonance, that confusion in your brain because you saw what they did, you heard what they did, but now the narcissist is trying to gaslight you, saying it didn’t happen that way, or it’s all in your head. Now, you’re going to start to second-guess yourself. And this is what the narcissist wants you to do. They want you to second-guess yourself and think that you got it wrong. This is where you have to learn to trust yourself. Trust what you heard. Trust what you saw. And realize that if you’re feeling a certain way, there’s a reason that you’re feeling that way.
Don’t let that narcissist sway you when they start to say things like, “It didn’t happen like that.” Yes, it did happen like that. Of course, you’re going to say, “It didn’t happen like that to make me, get me off your back. I know what I saw. I know what I heard. I know what you did. And they’ll either say, I don’t remember, or it didn’t happen like that. But trust and believe, it happened exactly as you heard it and you saw it.
4. Saying you are crazy.
The fourth major lie out of a narcissist’s mouth, and you are definitely going to hear this if you’re dealing with a covert narcissist. You’ll hear it with all narcissists, but covert narcissists love this one. They love to say you’re crazy and then stonewall you and walk out. When a covert narcissist or any narcissist calls you crazy, guess what? You got them. And they don’t know what to say to you. So now they’re in panic mode. So now they’re going to try again to make you think that you are crazy.
If they call you crazy enough, now you’re going to start to think maybe you are crazy. They keep calling me crazy. Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I need to go to a therapist. Maybe I need to take antidepressant pills. Maybe I am the toxic one. Maybe I am the narcissist. If you know your facts, you’re walking in the truth. You are not crazy. That’s why you have to be focused when you’re dealing with a narcissist, because this is their number one weapon: gaslighting. To make you second-guess yourself, doubt yourself. So they love to call you crazy, but when they do call you crazy, it’s because you got them, and there’s nothing else they can say.
Let’s say you put the facts in front of their face and say, I know you’ve been lying. I know you’ve been cheating. I saw the text messages and this and that. They’re liable to say, you know what, you’re crazy. You’re paranoid. Meanwhile, they’re the ones who are crazy and paranoid, but they’re going to tell you that, and then they’re going to run.
This is what the covert narcissist would do. They call you crazy and then they run because the heat is on. Now, they’re going to disappear for a little while till you cool down and then come back and make like nothing ever happened. This is how they get out of taking accountability. But this is a major lie because you’re not crazy if you’re bringing up something that you saw, you heard, or something that bothers you. Your feelings are justified. And don’t let that narcissist gaslight you and start calling you crazy. The minute they start to pull that nonsense is the minute that you have to say to them, “Listen, you
ever talk to me like that again, you and I will not be talking. Don’t you ever disrespect me or try to question my mental health.
5. You’re so insecure.
Again, it’s a projection. The narcissist is going to say, “You’re so insecure, ” the minute you ask them a question. You ask them
something like, “Where were you?” or “What were you doing?” or “Who were you with?” What is the first thing that comes out of their mouths? You’re insecure. When really, again, it’s the narcissist who’s really insecure. That’s why they’re narcissists because of that insecurity within themselves. And they become narcissistic to protect their inner ego. But they want to project their toxic qualities onto you and call you insecure.
They want to give you a complex so that anytime you bring up anything to the narcissist, you’re going to second-guess yourself and say, “Well, maybe I shouldn’t bring that up. I don’t want to look insecure.” No, you have a right to ask somebody. That’s your partner. And if something looks shady, what are you supposed to do? Sit there and look unbothered and be an unbothered sucker? You’re entitled. You’re in a committed relationship. That means that person has to respect you, and when you have a question, they should respect and you and answer the question, but they love to call you insecure.
6. You’re so jealous.
You’re so jealous of my friends. You’re so jealous of me because I have friends.” They love to say you’re jealous. Again, projection. The narcissist is the king and queen of being jealous of everybody else and being in competition with everybody else. But what are they going to do? They’re going to say, “You’re the jealous one.” I had a narcissist do this with me. Try to say, “Oh, you’re so jealous of your girlfriend.” And I’m like, “Where is this coming from?” Like, I never gave
him any reason to even say. It didn’t come from anywhere. It came from the narcissist trying to cause trouble.
Trying to make you think that you’re less than and you’re jealous of everybody else. It’s to break your self-confidence. So that’s the next major lie is when they sit there and say, “You’re so jealous.” So don’t believe them.
